Friday.

I can't sleep again. :|
and something happened a while ago, I don't know whats in it but my dear friend said, it is something I can't take because according to her, if it hurt her what more me? @@

I get upset with something I never had.

One night, as I was wandering to sleep, I had this strange feeling...I thought what if someone wants to be with me? someone who will make me happy? will I say YES?

 from the fact that I've waited for nothing.. maybe its time that I need to be happy with somebody else.

But just by thinking about giving up my love for him pains me. it's like I just can't leave him. 

I am scared. 

I know he doesn't care, I know this is something very foolish because all he did was hurt me [without even trying] --- shit I don't know. 

I've held on so long, I just can't give up right now.

you know what scares me? it is waking up one day, knowing all this time he was in love with me, all he needed was time.

Another crazy assumption! I know.. but that happens.. to others, I mean. This happened one time to me, I can't let it happen again.

*sigh. I sound stupid but I have thoughts, this is my blog anyway...

I'm still in love with him.