here we go again.

the site where I have 20 blog posts changed into a gaming site which means everything I wrote there are gone.
*curse you dammit like ASDFGHJKL @@


things have been so hard these days & no one knows because I keep that happy face :)
Oh man, I love him so, he'll never know then I hear someone says

"you really have attachment issues---creepy :))" [he's probably laughing now. >__<]

so, this is something about a HE.


I am not much of an essay writer with those beautiful words and metaphoric yadas but hell, i envy them.
it was 2nd week of April, I went up heading to the workroom with excitement, ready to have my subjects for the summer when I arrived and suddenly my moogie friend said..
"Oh ayan na si number two"
I gave that *WTFace* and I saw someone new in the crowd.
it was HIM. :)))

>>>> Fast Forward


It was one of those mornings where I woke up with someone on my mind.
darn it! this is it.. I was just telling my friends how cute he was, admitting to his former classmate/close friend/my moogie boyfriend that I got a crush on him then BOOM! he goes renting my heart.
I let it pass thinking maybe its just infatuation.
Until one day, I sneaked out of my Philosophy film viewing wanting to sit-in in one of his class where my friends were present too.
I opened the door and the first person I saw in that very room was.. capital H I M -- our eyes met and I swear to god I saw Sparks --- tssssss. then I noticed the person next to him with that teasing look --- of course, Jethro.
I looked away, blushing.


I knew everything was different. I hate it when I fall first.
few days after it was my Birthday.. we had Hershey Reese Ice Cream ^___^
then we went to grandstand, I was just sitting while my freaky friends were running like idiots., Ha! just kidding Jogging raw yun. >:) 
Oh I forgot HIS bestfriend is now my unidentical twin brother.
He told me something that kept me wondering for hours. Twin said HE asked if he knows me, twin said yes and details were vague. 
Maybe, he was just asking because I am friends with HIS closest friends.
I let it pass again..MAY 1, 2011 -- I was making my Philo paper and at the same time chatting with Biep on Facebook.
I posted "Hello, Caius" [I called him that because he is as white as snow] because he was online. :)))
I was telling Biep that he is online and he is not talking to me.. how depressing. just when I was about to inhale..
I got a new chat -- I saw his name. my world stopped.
I didn't know what to do, I panicked. I screamed. Heavy breathing, like hyperventilating. I told Biep he chatted. Ahhhhhhh!
WE WERE THRILLED. so I talked to him Hi-Hellos.. asking why blah blah and then he said
"Can I have your number?"


WTF! He just asked my number. Dude! What?! Oh my effin' Edward! 
I forgot I was working on a Philo paper. I was jumping.. flying? it was funny.
well, nagPakipot muna ako. I asked WHY?
he answered: Uhm katext lang sana, kung okay lang sayo.
then I thought about my twin brother..
*darn, he is fooling me! this is all game. a bet*
So I asked another question, just so I would know this is coming directly from him and he insisted
that it was his idea. I SMILED. :)


he was not much of a texter, [it's written all over his facade] so the days where he didn't text me were bearable but it got often to rare to not anymore [ to never again I think]


I expected too much. @@
I overthink. Expecting plus Over-thinking just ruins everything.


I hate him for giving the feeling,
but I hate myself more for letting that feeling eat me alive.




Maybe he was just being friendly. 
maybe he was just really nice.
or maybe he's an uppity better than anyone super skank.
*sigh